Alexander Volkanovski is standing on a street outside the White House and trying to decide exactly where he punches a young Californian kid in the chest.
For if it all goes wrong?
“Well, I’ll likely break a rib,” Volk says later, chatting over a beer inside downtown seafood joint, Ocean Prime.
“And what happens if a bone does break? Or if it splinters and hits vital organs? I mean, the last thing I want to be doing is stuffing up a guy’s kidneys …”
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Which is why as they stand, right now, on that street with the White House playing backdrop, Volk initially, and as a measure, centres his palm just under the rib cage of our twentysomething target.
A fella who only minutes earlier had introduced himself to Australia’s greatest fighter by asking if, maybe, he could take a shot from the same right hand that’s bested the likes of Jose Aldo, Max Holloway, and most recently Diego Lopes?
Initially, and understandably, Volk was tentative.
“Because in that moment, I know the Fox Sports cameras are rolling,” he will say later. “And I know it can definitely make for a good piece. But still, if something goes wrong …”
Which standing a few metres away, is exactly Matty Johns is hoping for.
“Oh, I’ll be honest, I wanted Volk to drop him,” Johns says only minutes after said altercation is done. “I was actually stood there thinking, ‘you know what Volk, just hit him in the balls … go on, hit him in the balls’.
“Because you could see the guy was bracing for that shot. And fair play to the kid, because he can obviously take a punch.
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“Only a few minutes earlier, he’d been stood there telling me how he’s taken a punch from this UFC fighter, that fighter, boxers, whatever.
“So I’m thinking ‘please, Volk, just punch him in the balls …’.”
Yep, welcome to day two with Fox Sports Australia in Washington DC.
Where now with only four sleeps until Sunday’s (Monday AEST) UFC White House blockbuster, Volkanovksi and Johns have spent a crazy morning together touring some of the city’s most famous landmarks and monuments.
In fact, over the space of several hours – and for an impending ‘Matty & Volk at the White House’ special – these likeable rogues visited the US Capital, the Thomas Jefferson Memorial, even Ford’s theatre where Abraham Lincoln was assassinated.
Elsewhere, the boys also visited the Lincoln Memorial. Same deal, the shrine for Martin Luther King.
Around which point, a moustachioed Hispanic father of two – unmistakable in his purple tee with “Relax Gringo, I’m Legal’ writ large across the front – pointed out Australia’s fight star to his kids.
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Minutes later, a teacher leading scores of primary school kids in green polos did the same.
“Look there,” our man shouted excitedly to his class, “that’s the world featherweight champ ….”
Which to be fair, is how it not only went at every stop, but even before boarding the bus.
When stood outside the UFC fighter hotel, Volk was beeped at by a nondescript truck driver who, despite thundering by at speed, still leaned out his window shouting “hey, Volkanovskiiiiii …”
Then across at the Capital building, same thing.
Only this time first up, it was a young teenage girl, still in braces, who first asked for a picture in what would be a day where literally more than a hundred folks who weren’t only Yanks, but Scots, Spaniards, Englishmen, Brazilians, even a suited fella wearing a pin from what we think was Belgium.
“You’re my hero Volk,” he said, having rushed from a building opposite the White House to grab a picture with the fighter. “Can I have a hug?”
To which, of course, Volk obliged.
Same as outside the Lincoln memorial, he playfully sparred with a young African American kid from Marie Reed Elementary School. Then, well, they faced off too.
And every stop, it went this way.
Sure, he may not be fighting at UFC Freedom 250.
Doesn’t matter.
With fans still clambering, and at times throughout the day, running to ensure they got a selfie with the man in town to help corner new Brazilian teammate Mauricio Ruffy – who throws down on the South Lawn against US favourite Michael Chandler.
At one point, as Volk was crossing the street, one young teen even stopped his scooter in the middle of the road – even placing the kick stand down – so excited was he at the chance of meeting his idol.
Which is why the champ then quickly ushered both scooter and rider to the safety of a nearby footpath where he could chat and answer questions.
Yet the undeniable high point of fan interactions?
That came at what would be the final stop.
And while looking through the security fencing that, right now, encircles the White House where next Monday’s UFC 250 Freedom card will be held – and on no less than the 80th birthday of President Donald Trump.
While talking through what was to be a final piece to camera with Johns, Volk was approached by a young guy in his twenties, Joshua Gutierrez.
Apart from going by the Instagram handle ‘Maniacojosh’, Gutierrez is also trying to make something of a name in social media circles by taking punches from UFC fighters who agree to do exactly that.
“And I’ve already taken hits from Alex Pereira, Dustin Poirier, Jiri Prozachka,” he told us as, nearby, curious tourists took snaps and a fella hawking a pile of red Trump hats even paused to try and see what was going on.
And the secret to his ability to withstand punishment?
“Well, I drink lots of tequila,” grinned ‘Maniaco’, who hardly seemed dressed for the occasion in jeans, grey t-shirt and a black Yankees cap. “I honestly think that might be why I have such a strong liver.”
Which only moments later, Volkanovski thwacked.
Although, at full tilt?
Absolutely not.
But still it was enough to knock our man back into that black security fence.
“And I made sure to hit him in the right spot,” the 37-year-old says. “Obviously you don’t want to be aiming at the ribs.
“So I punched him hard enough to make it all look good on camera. Even gave him a little push when I did it, too.”
Asked about the incredible recognition he receives here Stateside, Volk continued: “Look, I do get these moments more around the world.
“And don’t get me wrong, I still get a lot of attention back home. It can get really busy.
“All of which is still weird for me. Because I forget that.
“Someone will come up to me when I’m out, start talking to me, and I’ll think I must know the bloke from high school or whatever.
“But over here I do get recognsied a bit.”
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And by a bit, Volk means being stopped by American schoolkids, mums, police officers, guys running dry cleaner errands, even members of the US National guard.
“And I really was shocked by how many people stopped Volk,” Johns told us. “Was absolutely stunned by the age of so many of them, too.
“I mean, you saw it.
“At one point, he was stopped by an eight-year-old girl who said she knew Alex from watching UFC fights with her father.
“Wherever he went, adults, schoolkids, young males, mothers, it was absolutely amazing.
“And I think it’s because, when you see Volk, he just has a certain energy about him. People even subconsciously can see that he’s just such a really good bloke, and that’s why they feel comfortable approaching him.
“I often say to some of the young footballers I work with, make sure you give people time.
“And you saw that today. There were people who walked out to Volk hoping for 10 seconds of his time. Some of them got four, maybe five minutes.
“And you could see on their faces, they were stunned.
“What a great ambassador for Australia.”
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So as for the best part of their tour?
“Well, for a start, the guide,” Johns continued of a fella named Nick who walked the group from one high point to the next decked out in black shorts, red polo and a blue denim cap which, turned backwards, was emblazoned with the phrase ‘Tour God’.
A fella who, born and raised in DC, can talk you through topics as varied as what colour the White House is painted – “Sherwin Williams whisper white” – to which local mayor smoked cracked.
Wonderfully, Nick also had gags for days too, including ‘what’s Forest Gump’s favourite pasta … penne’. There was also a joke about a cockatoo that can’t really be repeated here.
Yet what we can say is how sitting alongside each other – and what will be revealed later this week – is Matty and Volk talking through topics as varied as the upcoming Origin II game, prostate exams and the worrying number of blokes who take selfies with the UFC champ … only to then use them for Tinder profile pics.
“Although,” the fighter jokes, “it may just be to make them look taller”.
“But the whole day, it really give me clarity on Volk’s popularity over here,” Johns stressed after the tour was done. “We would go past school groups and the kids were screaming, the teachers were screaming … it really was unbelievable.
“And I get why it’s different back home.
“Australians are naturally more reserved. You see Volk and think ‘ah, I won’t bother him’, or maybe give him a nod. But the Americans, we’ve just watched them rush him all day.”
But the real kicker?
“I look at Volk,” Johns grins, “I still can’t work it out. How the bloody hell did he ever play front row for the Warilla Gorillas?”.