As Alex de Minaur was licking his wounds at Wimbledon on Monday, the reality of his predicament was clear to him.
The delusion that drives most athletes, the mythical belief that anything is possible if you work hard enough, is starting to dissipate for the Demon, a regular fixture in the second week of majors but a talent yet to make the last four in a major.
In a sobering response after his fourth round loss to Flavio Cobolli, the Aussie star acknowledged he was starting to lose hope that he would ever take the step he wants the most, namely to win a major.
It is a concession that even he is mindful is dangerous, for if the belief in the dream diminishes, it makes it so hard to get out of bed in the morning, to train harder than ever before, to “better himself.
“I won’t play a tournament for a while. But again, they (the tough losses) just accumulate, right? And kind of the goals, the beliefs, the dreams that you have, they … start fading away or they feel a little bit further away than when they once were,” he said.
“Like, I feel like a couple of years ago, I was definitely closer to that. Now it just feels like I’m getting a little bit further away from those dreams.”
Getting beaten by Jannik Sinner, Carlos Alcaraz and Novak Djokovic deep in majors is one thing. They are extraordinary players, history-making champions who have blocked the path of the Aussie in several majors in recent years.
But for the second straight major, and for the third time in his past four grand slams, de Minaur has lost to rivals in matches he fully believed he could win, though admittedly clear-eyed observers would assess them as 60-40 at best out of 100.
Felix Auger-Aliassime edged him 7-6 in the fourth set in a quarterfinal in New York last September. Jakub Mensik, who has a Masters title to his name at 20, beat him in four sets at Roland Garros on route to his first grand slam semi-final.
And a loss to Cobolli is far from a disgrace, for the Italian is a top 10 ranked talent and recent major finalist at Roland Garros. But de Minaur had every right to believe he could beat all three, even if that trio are also exceptional talents chasing the same goal. And he fell short on all three occasions.
Making it worse is that his quarterfinal rival would have been English wildcard Arthur Fery after he edged Grigor Dimitrov in a deciding super tie-breaker on Monday to follow the heroics of the Old Dart’s soccer team earlier that day.
Fery is a fine player. But he is uncharted territory and needed almost four sets to beat the Bulgarian veteran. A golden opportunity for de Minaur lost? They would not have come any better in a major. Ouch.
The manner with which the Australian lost that makes this defeat hurt arguably the most, for rather than rising to the occasion, the Demon wilted under pressure, just as he did when challenged by Mensik in the second set in Paris. It stings.
A sloppy game at 5-all in the first set. Coughing up 11 straight points in the second set when leading 5-2 in the second set. Falling away badly after breaking to start the third set. With it goes the chance to make the deepest run of his major career.
But more detrimental is the big dent it delivers to his self-esteem on court.
“You go through moments in your career, times where you feel that there’s opportunities to be taken, to take the next step, to make it to the next level, to become an even better version of yourself,” he said.
“And to fall short constantly, you start doubting yourself. You start doubting whether you’re going to be able to break through and kind of take it to the next step.”
Punters were sticking the boots into de Minaur midway through the loss to Cobolli. The social media comments will be brutal today as well. That he’ll never win a major. That the big boys will always be better than him. And so on.
But none will be tougher than the self-assessment made by de Minaur, who has worked incredibly hard to take that next step, to break that major drought for Aussie men dating back to Lleyton Hewitt’s win in Wimbledon in 2002.
He has bulked up. He has striven to add speed to his serve. He has worked on the forehand, learnt to step into the court, to take the ball early and to attack. After a period where he stalled, these improvements have cemented him as a top ten talent.
But the 27-year-old’s inability to “step up” in the manner he desired on Wednesday has caused this kerfuffle. De Minaur was damning of himself afterwards when saying that one man played to win on Monday, and the other not to lose.
Make no mistake. De Minaur has enjoyed a stellar career and is the best Australian man since Hewitt, and that includes Nick Kyrgios, who made a run to the Wimbledon final in 2022. His consistency is remarkable and he is respected by his peers.
He has ten titles to his name, two appearances in the elite ATP Tour Final, may yet leave Wimbledon with a career-high ranking of five and has pocketed nearly $37 million in prize money, and that is only his tour purses.
Cobolli made it to a grand slam final last month and almost pushed Alexander Zverev to five sets. Yet he said on Monday that he played one of his best ever matches, and de Minaur should have still been in at least the fourth set.
“At least (it) was an incredible match for me. From my side, I think I played one of the best matches ever, especially on this surface that is always tough to play,” Cobolli said.
“But today I found a way to have a high level for, I don’t know how much I played, but for all the match. It was really impressive also for me, for my team.
“I’m really proud and happy to reach the second quarterfinal in a row here in Wimbledon. That means a lot for me. It’s always special to have a chance to play another match here.”
Sometimes you can be stiff. And for every person kicking de Minaur, including himself, it is worth stressing that no match in a grand slam is easy, be it the first round, the fourth round or the final. Cobolli is playing superb tennis at the moment.
But the results are falling the wrong way for him at a time when the clock is starting to tick, and at a moment when the young guns are getting better and better. Any wonder it “hurts like hell”. Any wonder he is questioning himself.
The flip side is what is to come. The Demon is getting married to Katie Boulter this northern summer and had the perspective even after a “gut-wrenching” defeat to appreciate he has “some pretty big things” happening soon to be excited about.
After that? Back to the grind. It is getting tougher. But don’t expect the Sydneysider to give it away without having a crack.
“At the end of the day, I’ve got no other option, right? I’m not going to say, ‘I’ve had enough. I’m hanging up the racquets,’” he said.
“It’s fresh now. It hurts like hell now. But I’ll get back up. I’m a competitor, you know, through and through. So I’ll get back up, and I’ll give myself another chance.
“I just want it to kind of happen to keep giving me that hope. If not, this is a tough, tough sport to play with no hope.”