Jake Paul walked out for this one channelling Hulkamania, which proved wonderfully apt given how everything, from that moment on, went almost perfectly to script.
But scripted? Or fake?
Hard to argue that given Paul’s busted jaw.
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Which to be frank, looked almost as bad as the fight after eating Anthony Joshua’s right hand.
Still, The Problem Child survived. If only just.
Same deal the rest of us watching on.
Especially those who had switched on Netflix expecting a public execution.
Think the Salem Witch Trials, only with bagfuls of Benjamins for everyone involved.
Yet on a night where most thought Paul would spend less time centre ring than either anthem singer, it would take almost six full rounds before Joshua finally offered a wry smile while uncorking that famed right hand.
A punch too, that was unable to miss — what with Paul being trapped, and gassed, in a corner with his hands down.
At which point, the American dropped to the canvas; further igniting what had already been exploding online criticism – and loud boos from inside the arena – for his continually circling away, or dropping to his knees as if attempting a UFC take-down … or Ronnie Coote chasing a grasscutter in one of those nine grand final appearances.
But across the ring? Well, Mr Joshua was also having less success than his Lethal Weapon namesake, albeit after 15 months out of the ring.
All of which, when lumped together in once dance, made for the ugliest of forgone conclusions.
A truth proved in the tweets of US promoter Lou DiBella, who even with the minutes still in single figures declared: “Three rounds of horse shit from AJ. He hasn’t even tried. Disgraceful.”
Of course, when the big Englishman did try, well, it was lights out.
And a broken Paul jaw.
But the journey to get there?
It looked worse.
And via a journey no WWE writer could even have scripted.
Indeed, after coming out dressed in something resembling Hulk Hogan’s old kit, Paul had arguably the most polarising fight of his most polarising career.
Not so long ago, the idea of him fighting AJ would’ve seemed absurd. Maybe still does.
But still, he made the walk anyway.
A decision which will likely see him eat Christmas lunch through a (gold plated) straw.
Yet still when this one was done, right across social media both Paul and the bout were largely panned – with Nate Diaz branding Paul “scared”, UFC featherweight Aljamain Sterling deriding a “clown show”, and retired MMA fighter Mike Pierce suggesting Paul was “dying in real time”.
In the space of only a few minutes, Ryan Garcia also branded Paul’s continued circling away from Joshua’s power with “he a runner, he a track star” – yet at the same time praising the crossover star for taking the fight, while then suggesting Gervonta Davis would have done him worse.
Others were equally perplexed.
AJ calls out ‘twitter fingers’ Fury | 00:29
With former UFC heavyweight Brendan Schaub describing the entire thing as “weird” while BKFC’s Ben Rothwell branded the showcase “WWE with boxing gloves. Nonsense.”
And all of this before we get to the criticism of Paul continually falling to his knees in exchanges, almost as if he were an MMA fighter looking to secure a double leg take-down.
In fact, so often did this happen through only six rounds that he received a referee’s warning.
Which is why afterwards UFC light heavyweight Derek Brunson likened Paul’s bizarre wrestling tactics to that of brother Logan, who is signed by the WWE, while fellow Octagon star Josh Emmett suggested that he had “never seen so many double legs in a boxing match”.
It was almost certainly one of these collapses that also caused DiBella to tweet: “WTF is going on in there?”
And then, another one-two combo also taking aim at Paul’s MVP partner, Nakisa Bidarian.
“Nothing legit about this, Nakisa,” DiBella fired. “Even if everything’s ‘legal’. Go ahead and sue me. No, this isn’t good for #boxing, sports, or entertainment. Goodnight.”
But still the longtime US fight promoter wasn’t done.
“BTW, the guy who should feel ashamed right now is Anthony Joshua … that was his legacy. Paul is a great businessman. AJ doesn’t give two shits about #boxing.”
Elsewhere, Sergio Mora tweeted that “Fake Paul ran for his life and got sympathetically/mercy knocked out by a gentleman” while longtime US boxing scribe Dan Rafael suggested “Jake not here to fight but survive. Running like William Scull”.
Yet perhaps the quote of the night belongs to referee Christopher Young, who at one point in proceedings brought the fighters together and declared: “Listen, this has gotta stop … the fans did not pay to see this crap”.
Sad truth is though, we did.
Understanding how long before the opening bell sounded, it was glaringly obvious to anyone who’s looked behind boxing’s curtain that this fight would play out roughly the same way as Conor McGregor versus Floyd Mayweather.
Only with the latest favourite, given his small matter of being a heavyweight, likely spending less time playing with his food.
Which is exactly how it proved.
And yet still it would two, three, even six times longer than anyone expected
Still, for the opening four rounds Joshua struggled to find his range as Paul jumped on his bike and circled away from that right hand.
Yet by the fifth, Joshua’s range came back to him. And within moments, Paul was dropped. Twice.
Then in the sixth, finished.
Which again, is what everyone knew was coming.
But like a 1980s State of Origin blue, the only question was when.
Yet unlike previous Paul wins, this one was earned in the toughest of ways.
And for that, you have to give the man his flowers.
Again, who wants to eat Christmas lunch through that straw?
Fury GRILLS AJ ahead of Jake Paul fight | 00:55
Which is why it shouldn’t surprise that the American also received big praise from plenty of men who know what it is to make that walk.
Take English boxer Chris Eubank Jr, who tweeted afterwards: “Regardless of the outcome Jake Paul got into the ring with an Olympic gold medalist & former heavyweight world champion & tried his best until the very end. You have to give that man his respect now … he’s done what most would never & he didn’t give up. Well done Jake.”
There was also praise from interim WBC featherweight champ Bruce Carrington.
“I don’t care what no one says,” he tweeted. “You GOTTA respect Jake Paul for stepping in there! He really puts in effort every time he steps in there.”
Elsewhere, millionaire Barstool Sports owner Dave Portnoy suggested “if you don’t respect what Jake Paul just did, you are a lifetime hater”, while Australia’s George Kambosos also heaped praise on the American before the opening bell.
“Regardless of what happens @jakepaul doing great things for the sport,” he wrote on ‘X’.
“Supporting women’s boxing and got massive balls stepping to the former 2x unified heavyweight world champ Anthony Joshua. Respect. Now let’s see how this goes … you just never know it’s boxing.”
Which is undeniably true.
Yet in this one, it went almost to script.
Right down to Paul, only a few hours after the fight, and forever the showman, posting an X-ray of his jaw busted in not one, but two spots.
“Double broken jaw,” he wrote on Instagram. “Give me Canelo in 10 days.”